December 10, 2003
Note to Kidnappers/Rapists

Don't kidnap and rape cute blonde chicks. The media loves them. The story will be nationwide in hours. It's safer to kidnap a minority, or a plain looking white girl. Not as many people will be interested, and you'll be more likely to avoid being caught. Police won't really care as much, since the community and press won't be getting on their asses about it.

Of course, I presume you don't want to be caught. I could certainly be wrong about that. I can't really speak to your motivations. But if not getting caught is one of them, then follow my advice and lay off the blonde hotties. And redheads. Stay away from them, too.

Posted by danisaacs at December 10, 2003 09:36 AM | TrackBack
Comments

Wouldn't the better advice be:

Step 1: Get a large, sharp knife. Place it in your right hand.
Step 2: Grab your willy with your left hand and stretch it out.
Step 3: Start cutting with a downward motion at the base...

Posted by: Brian on December 10, 2003 09:55 AM

Perhaps. But I'm giving them advice that is in their best interests as kidnappers/rapists who wish to be kidnapper/rapists, but not get caught. Perhaps if I were speaking to the set of kidnappers/rapists who did not wish to be kidnappers/rapists, that would have better advice.

Posted by: Dear Dan, on December 10, 2003 12:06 PM
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